Tim Walker’s Factor

The conclusion of New Zealand’s X Factor played out last night and might I say, I wasn’t entirely disappointed.

Ten weeks ago I had selected my winner across all groups: Lili Bayliss for her enigmatic charm and powerhouse vocals; Steve Broad for his likability and unmatched tunefulness; Brendan Thomas and the Vibes because they were the only decent band and lastly, fair to say my overall favourite, Stevie Tonks.

Tonks’ vocal ability was brilliant and he possessed a kind of passion I’d never before witnessed in a young man; suffice to say I found myself uncomfortable when a few weeks back he came up against B T and the V in the elimination, and was utterly aghast when he was sent packing – he had a hat and a beard, for God’s sake. (I would have expected if there was any time to show support towards pasty gingas, it was now; I was wrong.)

Then there were three: Brendan Thomas and the Vibes, Beau Monga, and Nyssa Collins. I didn’t like Nyssa – she was boring, dull, and just another larger-than-life Polynesian songstress. B T and the V were good, but I felt their novelty factor was wearing thin. Beau was awesome and while he had taken up my crown, dropped by Stevie Tonks, I didn’t feel his own self belief was present and as a result, wondered if his audience felt the same.

During last night’s final show, in my opinion, oddly, B T and the V appeared the most polished performers and, typically, they also appeared the most at ease. Beau was spectacular (I believe ‘killing it’ is the accepted term), and Nyssa continued to leave me unimpressed.

Despite any personal feelings though, in the week leading up to last night, word on the street was that Nyssa had it. I couldn’t understand what people saw in her and truth be told, she repulsed me; if Nyssa Collins was the kind of role model parents across New Zealand wanted their kids emulating, I supposed, that was their call.

B T and the V were first to go. That didn’t shock me. Afterwards watching Beau and Nyssa standing on stage, having both performed their ‘original recordings’ – Beau’s being brilliant and Nyssa not even having the talent to write her own song, instead allowing her idiot mentor, Stan Walker, to pen a pandering travesty of lyrical content – I was shocked by Dominic Bowden’s ability to hold a suspenseful pause.

I was surprised yet relieved when Beau was pronounced the winner of New Zealand’s X Factor, 2015.

 

 

Thing is guys, such was my certainty that Kiwis would make the wrong collective decision and last night crown Nyssa the winner, I went ahead and yesterday wrote a scathing article based upon that very presumption. It’s more clearly thought out, quite a bit longer and indeed, much better written than the fifteen minutes of furious morning typing you have just read.

I’ll give it another proof and stick it up soon.

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Shar King

Photography by Reese Alt

 

 

 

 

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