How many times can someone mindlessly utter two words before they are forced to take a breath and actually think about what they are saying?

Merry Christmas..?

Is it a requirement? With no pronouns it’s difficult to know. So is it a recommendation? The lack of imperatives makes that one tough to swallow as well. What about an inquiry? If so the question would then become, are we asking them if having a Merry Christmas is an acceptable way to spend the year’s final week, or are they asking us?

In fairness to what is possibly the most scintillating cliché the world has ever known, in full the statement should read: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, which in fact does little to shed light on the above query.

Irrespective though, of what part of speech it maintains, I refuse to be a part of such unashamed hackney. Of course there will be those of you who find my inability to follow the leader blindly and without question ignorant thus, I have an alternative…

We’ll see how long this takes to catch on and to perhaps become the new perfunctory Christmas phrase that people around the world find themselves quoting reflexively rather than intentionally, obligatorily rather than wilfully; vacuously rather than thoughtfully.

…I Wish for You All a Splendiferous Christmas and a Gay New Year.

Defiance by Tim Walker

Indignation by Christian Holly-Day

Irascibility by T Grince