Unbelievable to think that in this modern age petty crime in New Zealand – particularly Auckland – is still so prolific.

A number of small businesses have recently been overthrown by groups of hoodie-wearing thugs brandishing nothing but a feeble array of basic yard tools in what can only be described as senseless, stupid and spineless acts of treachery…

Yeah, hard to believe that kind of thing’s still going down.

…Which in a way is exactly what I just said, in my opening – but here’s the thing: the victims of these gutless attacks, those hard-working dairy and liquor store owners, who are in fact sometimes being burgled during daylight hours by these jumped-up drop-kicks, targeting cash, cigarettes, or alcohol; usually resulting in a shopkeeper or clerk’s injury, generally, are being robbed/assaulted by those same people who like so very much to complain about the way the foreigners are ruining this country…

Yeah I know, bloody foreigners eh, taking all our jobs and that.

…No but do you not see? It’s those kinds of pillocks who are the main issue; those losers who think they can avoid taking responsibility for their own lack of ambition, for their own failings, or explain away the reasons for their many shortcomings in life, justify their lifetime’s worth of wrongdoing, by accusing New Zealand’s foreign population of standing in their way, accuse them of stealing their opportunities…

They do though eh, I mean, just about every dairy up north is run by Indians.

…That’s right, they are, just like the way most fish ‘n chip shops, or motels in the south are run by Asians, but guess why that is..?

I dunno, ‘cause they like stealing all our jobs..?

Seriously..? It’s because they are willing to do the work, plain and simple; just like Filipino dairy workers…

Oh yeah, and as well as them there’s those ones that work on the farms, they take our jobs too.

…Yes, also those ones – tell me though, would you be willing to work from before dawn each day on a dairy farm?

Oh, nah, I’d get a real job eh.

You mean like working behind a counter, say, in a dairy..?

Nah man, that’s like slave labouring, nah I mean a real job, like in an office and that.

Oh nice one, you think you’re qualified to work in an office then?

Oh, prob’ly not, oh, reckon I’d pick it up though eh.

Right, so until then, education, perhaps..?

Nah, not really into school eh.

So how do you hope to learn the skills for work without education?

Oh you know, heaps o’ jobs don’t needs skills.

That’s true, but they’re usually hard work, too.

Oh, not scared of a little hard work eh.

But school’s too hard for you..?

School blows man.

I concur, but what about that job?

Oh, I dunno, s’pose I’d get some cash somehow eh.

Somehow..?

Yeah, you know, somehow…

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Dick Added

Photography by Thea Garry