My perception of New Zealand’s battle with COVID-19, along with the seemingly endless run of returning citizens responsible for the continuation of this battle, according to many, is misguided.

In the opinion of these people, my opinions are shallow, heartless, unjustified, unfair, mistaken, misdirected, misguided, unkind, heartless, callous, erroneous and ultimately, wrong.

In my opinion, the actions of this influx of returning Kiwis, which commenced around mid-June – most from Africa, India, UK or US thus many bringing with them strains of the Novel Coronavirus – in fact around the same time that New Zealand reached the ’22 days COVID-free’ mark, are arrogant, selfish, entitled, and ultimately shitheaded.

New Zealand is a 5 million-strong team of people who, following a prolonged period of lockdown managed to basically eradicate this virus from its airways; now hordes of people claiming to be New Zealand citizens but living overseas are deciding that, given the degenerated state of their adopted homeland and given also they’re pretty sure they still have a New Zealand passport lying around somewhere, they want to utilise these ‘basic human rights’ of theirs and, although it hadn’t been in their plans to ever return, now that things aren’t looking so good for them in their adopted land, head back to the safety of New Zealand.

Through my candid stance on this matter I have received much denigration from people around the world, invariably ‘New Zealand citizens’ compelled to maintain their stance, “It’s people like you [me] who give New Zealand a bad name.”

Overseas travellers, Kiwi expats, along with any other New Zealand citizen who is currently abroad and think they might like to come back to their mother nation, months ago, was advised to do so quickly; months ago responsible citizens returned to New Zealand’s shores.

Why then, further months after the advisement to travellers to quickly get home, are there further dribbles of shitheads dawdling through New Zealand’s borders, checking into Government-funded quarantine, potentially kicking up a stink because their choice to belatedly come home isn’t going exactly as they would like or that, amid this unprecedented time where a pandemic threatens global stability, something or someone is in breach of their human rights?

For the record, quarantine has been Government-funded for over six months; don’t start moaning that ‘your country has turned its back on you’ because ‘your country’ feels it has waited long enough for the last dribbles to stop, or because ‘your country’ is done putting up with entitled shitheads checking into quarantined hotels only to later jeopardise the health of everyone by flouting quarantine rules.

In fairness, I don’t give a toss if my upholding these views gives the nation a ‘bad name’; at least I’m not giving it COVID.

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by N Ty-Tilled

Photography by Chet T Dud

What the hell’s going on at New Zealand borders? Couple of weeks back the country reached 22 days without COVID-19; since then there’s been about three new cases a day…?

Thing is, and the reason this annoys me so much, the great people of New Zealand have already done their penance (I will not include myself in this accomplishment as, at this time, I was still living it up in COVID-free Vietnam) effectively putting the nation in the clear; four weeks of enforced nationwide lockdown, along with already closed borders and rigorous quarantine for returning citizens, had meant that existing Coronavirus basically died out and there was no further transmission of the virus.

Then, presumably due to our Government’s generosity in offering a two-week quarantined hotel stay to returning Kiwis, everyone started coming back to our antiviral shores but, unthinkably for the newly COVID-free New Zealand population, these expatriated idiots are bringing with them fresh doses of COVID-19.

The question clearly needs to be asked, how long will this fiasco be allowed to continue? Until somebody slips through quarantine and infects the community, until we have the same predicament as Victoria? Or maybe just until every other person currently living abroad with a New Zealand passport decides they want to enjoy the freedom of a country where Novel Coronavirus has been contained?

I went to Vietnam in December 2019, scheduled to return to New Zealand three months later; in March, my return flight was cancelled and not until June was I able to get home. Everyone on my flight went straight into quarantine and, expectedly, none of us had brought back COVID-19.

The point, everyone in my group had booked return flights which were then cancelled; our planeload was of genuinely stranded tourists. I feel as though we had a right to come home. We were not selfish expats looking to fly our diseased lungs to safety; I feel as though these people have far less right to take advantage of New Zealand’s purity.

When my plane flew into Auckland airport and we were promptly checked into the Pullman hotel, nobody to whom I spoke thereafter believed there was any point quarantining our group as we had been in areas where COVID was virtually non-existent, leading us all to assume the Coronavirus pandemic was dead, anyway; this seemingly was just Cindy’s way of helping out the struggling New Zealand hotel industry but, either way, we enjoyed a nice break.

Now, after checking out of hotel accommodation on the 15^th June and landing back in Canterbury by nightfall, having witnessed New Zealand reach 22 days with zero new cases of the Novel Coronavirus, this infernal influx of contaminated expatriates is dribbling in from around the world, pushing our quarantine restrictions to the brink, as if seeing how many infected idiots it will take to cause a fatal slip-up.

One of these stupid returning expats has already threatened the nation’s health by ‘absconding’ from the Pullman hotel just a few nights ago and potentially mixing with the community; unfathomable that anyone would put their nation at such risk.

At this rate New Zealand is never going to reach the ’30 day COVID free’ mark – why the hell was there never a time limit put on returning citizens, and who the hell is still flying aeroplanes around the world, anyway?

New Zealanders have already been through hell in the name of COVID-19; are we now willing to risk a national relapse in the name of ‘human rights’?

So, what about now – can someone not just tell these idiot expats to get their (apparently) Kiwi arses into quarantine in the next month or they’re cut off?

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Stu Pad-Espat

Photography by Nhu Casey Covid

Of course, New Zealand’s ability to price-gouge its own citizens goes far beyond the resale of Metallica tickets.

Take a typical New Zealand sporting event; tickets to a sought after rugby match which avarice-inspired Kiwis quickly snap up without any intention to use then – much like the Metallica ticket fiasco of last instalment – wait until that event is sold out before selling their tickets to desperate fans at ridiculously marked up prices.

It’s not illegal and by that logic, in the opinion of scalpers around the country, there’s nothing wrong with it yet, in the opinions of dedicated fans who miss out on the original run of tickets, it’s an unscrupulous practice which cheats genuine fans of the opportunity to support their idols.

Gouging in New Zealand goes much deeper, and is so much more sinister than rock concerts and sporting events, though; the New Zealand Government likes to gouge us through taxation, sure but, what about fuel companies?

It’s long been understood that the bulk of our fuel cost – petrol and diesel – is composed of Government tax; so, during the COVID lockdown, when the price dropped to around $1.50 per litre, that must have been the result of the Labour Government, of our beloved Cindy, lightening up on the people, right?

What if it wasn’t though; what if, at this time, through an unprecedentedly reduced demand, fuel had become basically worthless?

What if the New Zealand Government continued to charge somewhere near $1.50 in taxes and what if service stations took their regular cut from their sale; what if the oil companies were making a pittance?

As I have seen it, one litre of petrol is currently worth around 0.50NZD.

That’s half a dollar; fifty cents.

Today’s cost of a litre of 91 Octane from a service station is closer to $2 than it is to $1.50.

‘Government proposes new law to lower petrol prices, yet raises fuel taxes’ – recent NZ Herald headline.

Could it be there is collusion between our Government and fuel companies, or is it just our Government pumping us?

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Cole Husion

Photography by Jacinda Pumper