December 26^th, 2019; flying in the direction of Saigon’s Tan Son Nhat Airport, Vietnam.

June 1^st, 2020; checking into Auckland’s Pullman Hotel, in what were the comparatively early stages of New Zealand’s COVID-19 Quarantine facility.

A disproportionately large number of occurrences took place between those two dates; additionally, that five-month stint in Southeast Asia showed me, a 36-year-old man hitherto in danger of abject stagnation, that, irrespective of one’s past or current predicament in life, with dedication and desire to seize opportunities when they arise, fresh starts are always available.

I arrived in Saigon, undertook a course, gave it everything and weeks later, emerged a TESOL graduate; I then shot up-country to the idyllic Buon Ma Thuot where, late January 2020, for the coming months I plied my newest trade to masterful effect.

COVID had arrived, seemingly focused on the larger cities, leaving our peaceful inland paradise unaffected; nevertheless, as the end of March loomed, along with my scheduled flight home, I began to experience a great sadness at leaving behind this adoptive homeland – also a girlfriend, also about a hundred townsfolk-friends, and multiple adoptive families-friends.

Via online New Zealand radio broadcasts, I was able to keep abreast of most happenings in my native land; at the time, regarding the COVID-19 pandemic, New Zealand did not appear any better positioned than Vietnam.

COVID had arrived, like a guardian viral angel, cancelling many international flights, including my own; I was dismayed while, at the same time, overjoyed at having more time to spend in this transcendent land with these glorious people.

Vietnamese Immigration started sending me emails politely requesting, due to my recently expired Visa, that I please vacate their country.

COVID had arrived, threatening Buon Ma Thuot, forcing a lockdown and trapping me all day in the cool of indoors with my gorgeous Vietnamese girlfriend and wonderful adoptive family.

Vietnamese Immigration became less polite and, over the coming weeks, presented to me several viable flights out of Vietnam but never completely into New Zealand which, while I did accept and even pay for a few Australian-stopover flights, were always cancelled in the days before departure.

With the last of my funds now tied up with various airlines, I finally lost hope of getting home and settled in for another 12 months in Vietnam being harassed by Vietnamese Immigration.

Vietnamese Immigration then sent me another ‘urgent’ email; this one claimed there was a Vietnam Airlines plane flying right into Auckland Airport leaving Saigon’s Tan Son Nhat the coming weekend.

This latest flight plan sounded perfect; alas I now had insufficient funds to fly anywhere.

My girlfriend later listened as I explained my predicament, then without a word she disappeared up the stairs and into her mother’s room.

A few minutes later she returned, clasping a thick wad of 500 dong bills which she handed me; my wonderful Vietnamese family paid that exorbitant fare back to New Zealand so that I could be reunited with my genuine family.

(For the record, months later, I would be reimbursed around half of the money I had spent on cancelled airfares – ‘Act of God’ meant travel insurance jumped through a loophole on all losses incurred – and, months after that, through international transfer, I did pay back that family, with interest.)

 

The next year in New Zealand passed in a blur of hazy recollections and growing frustrations.

I had been discharged from Auckland’s quarantine facility on 1^st June 2020, and while I did communicate with Vietnam most days, I longed for my life in Vietnam, the most prosperous existence I had experienced in 20 years.

I tried everything I could to get back to Vietnam as an English teacher; according to what I was reading, even throughout COVID Vietnam was bringing in ‘highly skilled workers’ – I was aware this included native English teachers – yet the sponsorship I required continually eluded me.

Finally, October 2021, the COVID vaccine having been the source of great debate for months, I have a potential offer of employment thus hopefully the sponsorship to head back to Vietnam to resume my life of prosperity.

Early days, admittedly, and I am not typically one to go in for premature excitement but, come on; Kiwis are currently being dictated by a political party insistent on maintaining favourable public perception thus feeding their people only the sweetly embellished variety of propaganda they need to hear to maintain their own agenda while forcing parts of the country into knee-jerk overreaction every time wastewater testing turns up a snifter of COVID-19 because although at this point a health system collapse is unlikely this incumbent government political party is terrified of the national bedlam which may ensue if they are seen to be anything but the robust New Zealand Socialist Government Dictatorship they are endeavouring to embody and now Christchurch is back on the hackneyed bandwagon with its ‘cases of COVID’…

Seriously, allow me this one shred of hope, it’s all I have.

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by M Buddy Mint

Photography by Dick Tater

 

 

 

In communist countries such North Korea or, to a lesser extent, China, national media is controlled largely by respective governments.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

New Zealand’s incumbent Government operates under socialist rule which, while not as left-wing as Communism, with high taxation and a national populous which is basically funded through the Government purse, Socialism is right out there on the left.

Remember that unnamed New Zealander who died back in May after receiving a first dose of the COVID vaccine?  No? No, you probably wouldn’t; the Government did what they could to downplay that situation, going as far as assuring us ‘there is no direct link’ between the vaccination and the death.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

I am wholly in support of this recent vaccination push and understand that, obviously, the Government is doing all they can to avoid negative publicity on the topic yet, to encourage or force media to withhold otherwise newsworthy information from the public for the benefit of their own agenda, is grossly irresponsible.

One might argue, ‘No, no way does Government hold influence over national media…?’

Take a few major New Zealand news outlets – TVNZ, Newshub, Fairfax – TVNZ is obviously state (Government)-owned and Newshub? Well, Newshub is owned by Mediaworks which, while not strictly Government-owned, like Fairfax, resides under the sheltering influence of a government umbrella.

Still not sure?

Well, surely you heard about the Auckland schoolgirl who died just a few weeks ago, in late September, from ‘complications’ regarding the COVID shot? No? Seriously, she was 17 years old; that should have been across global headlines for weeks.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

I was made aware of another New Zealand death last night relating to the COVID vaccine – young man, tattoos, think he was an aspiring DJ – but can find no trace of the story today.

Odd.

New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, like many political leaders, is guilty of using propaganda for the purpose of scaremongering; COVID-19 is being portrayed by her media team as a certain death-sentence yet, we are told, all this can be avoided through vaccination.

The above is patently untrue; statistically, most COVID sufferers are asymptomatic, around 1 in 100 suffer severe illness and around 1 in 1000 will die from the virus – vaccinated people can still contract the virus, they can still spread the virus, they can still suffer from the virus, and they can still die from the virus.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

The New Zealand public is being fed propaganda by a typically mendacious left-wing government who acts as if the country is their dictatorship to run and they will dictate that country indefinitely, with all the good little Kiwi minions exalting their intrepid leader for eternity.

Realistically, Jacinda Ardern is preparing to seize the next election thus right now, public perception is everything.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

The reason, I believe, that the Government is drawing out the COVID game long after most people have lost interest and just want to get on with life – hotel conversion MIQ facilities, feverish COVID testing and pushing a vaccine that does little to stop the spread of the virus but may mitigate symptoms when you catch it – again, public perception; Kiwis are being kept in jobs and money, taxable income, is still circulating throughout the nation – for now most people feel wealthy.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

For the record, there is utterly no excuse for Jacinda’s government to cancel the South Island’s summertime events – concerts, festivals, Christchurch Cup Day – based on the presumption that because COVID is now rampant in the North and Auckland is in its umpteenth week of lockdown, given the South is around 365 days COVID-free, they must be due for an outbreak; realistically, the bulk of Cindy’s voting public are not southerners anyway, therefore it is scarcely an issue to her.

An additional two weeks…? Jacinda, clearly most Aucklanders are not playing the game anymore, so why the hell would you continue to penalise the ones who still are? Seemingly the only Aucklanders who are still endeavouring to ‘keep to their bubble’ are the only ones who don’t have COVID; the rest, the gang members (purveyors of meth), prostitutes (users of meth), they continue to do as they please.

According to what we are being told, if COVID is set free, every unvaccinated person will contract a severe strain of the virus, they will all be rushed to hospital overwhelming New Zealand’s Healthcare System, they will all be hooked up to ventilators then, (the result of sucking pure oxygen,) they will all (eventually) suffer (further) constricted airways, massive (panic) attacks and lastly, take up in a bed in ICU and probably die.

Admittedly, the above scenario would look bad for the Government but, here is the thing, it is not realistic; it would never happen.

This ensures the people of the aforementioned communist nations are told only what their governments want them to hear thus believe only the information their respective government want/need them to believe.

We are being fed propaganda; our government is feeding us a veritable cornucopia of mistruths and lies.

#stopthepropaganda

For everyone’s sake, vaccinate; if only to stop the shit dribbling from the mouths of every politician, also many newsreaders, we see.

New Zealand, please, vaccinate, because I have things to do, and this Government-enforced purgatory is shit; I’m done hearing about ‘cases of COVID’ – no one cares anymore.

Seriously, the vaccine is not going to hurt you; it’s likely going to do nothing at all, so let’s get 90% vaccinated and let’s get on with it.

Vaccinate, because this really is shit.

#stopthepropaganda

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Lion Demi-Crats

Photography by Commie Ruler

Pay attention: breathing difficulties is NOT a medical emergency.

Arrogant swine, it is not all about you; stop clogging up New Zealand emergency services just because – through doing what you wanted to do rather than what you were told to do – the bought of COVID-19 that you have caught is causing your airways to restrict thus causing in you a state of mass panic.

What do you expect the hospital is going to do for you, anyway – put you on a ventilator?

What will that do – provide you with ten times the oxygen your body needs thus giving you a nice high?

Sure, the feeling of euphoria caused by excess oxygen will, in the short term, relax you; long term, given that our everyday air supply contains ample oxygen for a typical human to breathe and survive, the result of flooding airways with pure oxygen is likely to cause an asthma or, worse, a panic attack.

When I was at school, I suffered from asthma; I never had an inhaler like the cool kids, as an advocate of natural health my mother preferred an alternative approach…

Here is the thing, as humans, we breathe up to four times as much air as we require; generally, air carries more than enough oxygen to keep us healthy and ultimately, our bodies do not need all the air that most mouth-breathing idiots suck over their fat tongues, greedily, copiously, pointlessly, into their bodies.

…I learned how to breathe correctly; yeah, because it turns out, despite being the most rudimentary aspect of life next to the rhythmic beating of our hearts, many of us have forgotten how to properly do this.

Breathing difficulties, because this is a bodily malfunction over which we have no ostensible control, for most people, will result in moderate panic; this will undoubtedly result in increased (open-mouthed) breathing, presently followed by extreme (open-mouthed) panic along with the compulsion to breath twice as quickly (through your mouth) as one otherwise would breathe.

This might also make you wish you had taken that vaccine when it was offered.

The only reason COVID-19 is still a thing in New Zealand, despite most people who test positive for the virus presenting no severe symptoms and only being ‘carriers’ for this ‘deadly Delta strain’, is because most arrogant Kiwi hypochondriac idiots, upon discovering they are carrying this virus, rush off to the hospital to be pampered by hopelessly busy (also probably insanely frustrated) nurses.

Get the shots, get the virus; stay at home, breath calmly (you don’t need as much air as you think you do), stop being such a princess about it and stop being such a bloody burden on New Zealand’s healthcare system.

Have a happy Christmas.

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Bree Zing

Photography by Wong Lee

 

 

 

As people around the world begin to lose interest in COVID-19 and the virus becomes in danger of falling out of vogue, New Zealand continues to strive for its magic ‘90% vaccinated’ threshold.

According to scientific research (which, as recent News broadcasts have shown, is the most effective way to start a noteworthy sentence), once New Zealand has reached a vaccination rate of 90% the virus, which was once considered tantamount to the deadliest of diseases, will effectively have its severity relegated to ‘barely concerning’.

In places like the UK, who were among the first to lose interest in the pandemic, COVID-19 has already become barely concerning and, while there are many people in Britain still dying from COVID, due to the early reaching of their vaccination target – cleverly set lower than ours so easier to reach – because the COVID-19 pandemic is now barely a concern, life as normal has basically resumed.

Taking note of the facts, scientific or otherwise, one might begin to empathise with the renegade team of anti-vaxxers within New Zealand’s bona fide team of five million; all the information we are being fed on COVID-19 through world media, including from over a year ago and until now, is reminiscent of The Holy Bible’s First Testament – so full of contradictions, fantasy and mistruths that a sceptical mind would struggle to believe it was reality – thus the people with the power later revise the original version, rescripting their premise, clearing up contradictions and making the whole thing sound less farcical, and just hope nobody remembers what was said the first time around.

The United Kingdom and its populous of over 60 million still has less than 70% fully vaccinated, but they’re good with that.

The trick there seemed to be setting low standards; the UK are still losing over 100 people each day to the COVID-19 virus, but they reached their vaccination target, so COVID doesn’t matter anymore.

Similarly, The United States of America with its populous of over 330 million has administered to fewer than 70% of its people even one COVID vaccination; yet with up to 1000 deaths per day, target reached or otherwise, the US people now seem comfortable with their defence of COVID-19.

The densely populated Asian continent, too, is still experiencing high daily infection numbers (China and Taiwan excluded as they appeared to always have control of their pandemic) yet, upon loosening of so-called lockdown restrictions, despite disastrously low vaccination rates, across most Asian countries, official daily contraction numbers have almost halved.

Similarly, Australia’s New South Wales recently lifted their COVID restrictions and, despite only around half of all Australians having been vaccinated with both shots, at this point, as above, most people have had enough of it therefore COVID is barely a concern.

International travel is resuming and, while technically COVID-19 is still far from ‘barely concerning’, it seems that most people are done being concerned with COVID-19.

As a global populous, we played the Coronavirus Pandemic game and we lost over five million participants; Jacinda Ardern talked about ‘New Zealand’s team of five million’ and we too played the game but as a team, our losses were negligible.

Maybe world leaders did conspire to disseminate unto the globe a toxin of unknown consequence in the form of a viral vaccine with the intention of…

Maybe I don’t give a damn, maybe I’m sick of this shit, too; I’m double-vaxed so yeah, I am now potentially one of that global dictator’s minions but hey, at least I played the game.

New Zealand’s Polynesian population, who were among the first to be offered the jab but in return offered defiance then when Pasifika vaccination rates were released as being officially low complained that they had been ‘forgotten by the Government’; seriously – pull your bloody heads in, get on with it, and just play the bloody game.

Even if the COVID-19 vaccine causes some mass extinction event, last thing I would wish is to be among the surviving 20% with all you precious bloody anti-vaxxers.

 

 

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Auntie Vicks

Photography by Precious Id-Jits