You want more? Oh, there is much more.
Month or two later I decided to reunite with 1000-Peso-a-day lady from Butuan.
Yeah, that didn’t go so well.
Went some way, in fact, towards finalising my decision to stay away from Filipino women (‘Not all Filipino people’ … ‘No, no, like I said, just the women’).
She came on the ferry from Butuan in March ‘23; admittedly, it was good to see her.
In the beginning.
She apologised for acting so horribly in November ’22, promised she’d be better this time; so hopeful I was, I didn’t even see the dollar-signs in her eyes.
It had just been her birthday, I said I’d get her something nice – what did she want?
“Money!”
That was easy; I gave her 2000 Pesos.
Next day, she said she was going shopping and needed money.
I gave her another 2000 Pesos; told her that was to last the week.
Next day she was going to an aquatic exhibit at a mall on the next island to make some Facebook videos and needed money.
I gave her 1000 Pesos; told her that was it for the week.
Next day she stayed at home all day, watching TV in the cool of the air conditioning.
Her manner had become increasingly insufferable; she was demanding, she was expecting, she was argumentative, she was defensive, she was defiant, she was hostile, she was spiteful, she didn’t listen, if she did listen she didn’t remember and, like last time, she was generally unpleasant.
I came home from work exhausted, she was on the couch with the aircond and TV on, surrounded by snacks in all her chubby glory – she wasn’t chubby a few months ago – and immediately ripped into me about not having enough money to do what she needed to do.
I reminded her I’d given her 5000 Pesos over the last three days; I was paying for the house, I was paying for her electricity, all she truly ‘needed’ was food and water for herself as well as bus fare to go wherever she ‘needed’ to go. If she couldn’t make that work over three days from 5000 Pesos – half a month’s salary for many – in Philippines, it wasn’t my fault.
Next morning, insufferable became unbearable; still before 6:30 – she was on the couch having been sleeping/watching TV downstairs all night – coming out of the shower I stumbled straight into another argument (demanding more money). In my quest to remain unflustered before the start of my workday, I opened my wallet, flicked out 1500 Pesos – having previously researched ‘boat fare Mactan to Butuan’ – calmly saying, “I was wrong for expecting you were going to be any different this time … I don’t want you in my house anymore … Go home.”
“1500? It’s not enough – give me 5000!”
“I don’t have any more cash on me, goodbye.” I turned out the door and walked to the refuge of my workplace.
Returning home at 5:30, I had actually forgotten about the morning’s unpleasantness; did think the outside light being on was odd, though.
Door was open. Memory came back. I stepped indoors through a waft of steam and heat. Awareness piquing, I walked straight to the bathroom. All the lights in the house had been turned on, air conditioning running at 21 degrees. The room was stifling. Plumes of steam were billowing from beneath the bathroom door. I pushed it open to be met with a palpable wall of heat. The electric shower was spraying near-boiling water onto the tiles. I reached down to switch off the shower then reflexively withdrew my hand; I had never run that shower at more than ‘1’ – glancing up – it was currently blasting water on ‘3’. It was hot. Still wearing my work backpack, clothes now soaked in perspiration, I reached up to twist the showerhead giving me access to the shower switch. Done, and with only mild burns. Now with wet feet padding on the living room tiles I shut off the air conditioning then walked back to the door and turned off the lights. Walking around the house I checked and turned off all other switches, including a kettle-full of boiled water – now tepid – then went up the stairs to my bedroom. Nothing on up there but, as I took off my backpack in preparation to plug in my laptop, I noticed my laptop charge cable was missing (plugged in via a Vietnamese adapter). Until that point nothing had upset me too much but that, stealing my charge cable and adapter thus potentially jeopardising my work in Philippines, that pissed me off. I checked my (always silenced) phone; my 1000-Peso-a-day Butuan lady had left a tirade of messages. Apparently, it was because I ‘did not give enough money’ that she had done what she did – told me she needed to take (steal) things to sell for enough money to get home.
Over the coming hours/days/weeks I noticed more things that 1000-Peso-a-day lady had taken; she appeared to have rifled through every drawer and cupboard in the house, salvaging, on top of the charge cable and adapter, every electronic device I had in my bedside cabinet, my formal Vietnamese belt, my Vietnamese raincoat, my unopened pack of razors (strangely expensive in Philippines), my nose-hair tweezers (I think just to annoy me), also every work snack I had in the house (I suspect she ate the nuts before she left, around midday). Last month’s power bill was large, anyway.
During my time in Philippines it has become clear that, maybe due to many Filipino/Southeast Asian folk growing up/living in poverty they (‘not all Filipino people’), as well as having no concept of ‘accumulation of funds’ (‘Sorry, not all, just most, many’), they seem to have limited ability to budget those funds – despite not knowing from where or when the next score will come, they quickly blow through whatever they have. As for the women – again, from my experience – when they find themselves a White man, they tend to become entitled, as though they deserve everything the man can offer which, other than having a pretty face, often these women do nothing to deserve anything.
Rapacious ladies in Philippines.
It’s disgusting, it’s repulsive, and it is a culture that needs to change.
Article by Tim Walker
Edited by N Tate-Old
Photography by Cal Cha Shift