Mit Reklaw’s Truth on Indecision

Let’s make the world a better place, pull our heads in, make up our fragile little minds and stop being so damned undecided about everything.

Assertive people who know how to make decisions without hesitation are what keep this existence prosperous; these are the same folk who, at the pub later that that night, can recount the actions of their day without a lot of ‘kind ofs’, ‘likes’, ‘sort ofs’ and to a lesser extent, ‘you knows’. These are real people who know how to get things done.

It’s the speech that is most irritating. Do we need to add an element of doubt to everything? Is it even possible to ‘kind of’ go somewhere, and ‘sort of’ do something? Here are a few examples that should illustrate just how inane this style of speech appears on paper, therefore, how idiotic it probably sounds in everyone’s ears but your own.

‘Oh, sorry, I can’t, I kind of, have a boyfriend…’ (What’s that then? Are you on a break? Are you his secret admirer? Are you unsure of his feeling towards you… what?)

‘We got in the car and then kind of just, left…’ (So, what? The car didn’t start first time? You drove very slowly? You took a long time to decide if you were going to leave… really?)

‘Then I like, grabbed him and I sort of, just slapped him right across the face…’ (Oh, I understand. You tenderly caressed his cheek with your hand.)

‘Me and him, yeah, we’re kind of like, you know, well, we’re sort of, married…’ (I see. Kind of like sort of married. So clearly the officiator was unqualified. No? Vegas wedding perhaps..? Separated and not living together? Ah, then it must be a de facto arrangement..? Come on, I’m going by what you’ve told me… What then? How about just saying what you mean!)

One might believe that with maturity this horrific display of indecisive speech would be straightened out, but no. It’s been seen in adults as old as fifty. It’s not cool. It’s not casual. It’s not the least bit endearing… it’s downright ambiguous and frustrating. So how about we kind of like, sort of work out what we mean to say prior to opening our uneducated little cake-holes, and let’s just articulate precisely what’s on our minds.

So does that kind of sound like a good idea? Or perhaps it’s sort of what you were already thinking..? Non-committal much? Yeah, nah, kind of.

Nice one.

One thought on “Mit Reklaw’s Truth on Indecision

  1. Victoria KesslerVictoria Kessler

    Mit Reklaw, I was wondering when I would find you! How can I contact you?
    Funny you should pop up tonight, I was flicking through some of therefore, Seth not five minutes ago!!

    Reply

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