Tim Walker’s Hypocritical

Pascal’s confectionary company are said to be discontinuing sales of their famed Liquorice Allsorts due to an apparent ‘dwindling demand’ for the product.

On hearing this, as seems to be the Kiwi way, now almost every person in the nation is in uproar claiming something along the lines of, “Oh but you can’t stop making Liquorice Allsorts, gosh, they were our favourite lolly in the whole wide…”

I’m unsure if this is a recognised issue across the world or if it’s strictly a New Zealand problem, how nobody seems to cares about a particular product’s existence while it’s readily available then the instant there’s talk of it being taken away, everybody is suddenly an advocate.

Reminiscent of the Georgie Pie fiasco a few years back: I recall this franchise opening shops around Christchurch when I was a youngster; all I ever heard from anyone about the quality of the place was that it was ‘rough’, ‘dirty’, ‘squalid’, ‘cheap’ and ‘disgusting’ (I assumed at least one of those adjectives must have been describing the food). Therefore I grew up harbouring the belief that this Georgie Pie franchise was something of an outcast that nobody really wanted anyway…

You can imagine my confusion then when, on announcing that Georgie pie was to be closing its shops throughout New Zealand, almost every person I observed speaking on the topic was outraged – they loved Georgie Pie, they had always loved it and my assertion that anyone I’d spoken to in the past about it didn’t much care for Georgie Pie so I guessed it wasn’t all bad, was met with vociferous cynicism.

Now they’re taking away your Liquorice Allsorts because you’re not buying enough and I suppose you’re going to try and tell me that it must be everyone else who’s not buying enough, ‘cause you always bought heaps o’ them…



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by George E Paye

Photography by U Bullocks

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