Enough with advertising; this week’s theory surrounds our great nation’s current area of consternation.

The flag.

Far as I can see no one gave a rat’s arse about the state of the New Zealand flag until some douche-bag started throwing around the possibility that we might change it…

Delighted as some people no doubt were to have been included in this monumental referendum, debate, decision, ballot, poll or whatever the hell title one gives to a government’s decision to burn up over $25 million at the local haberdashery outlet stitching up a few pieces of material to fit snugly over the nation’s official flagpole, the majority thought it to be nothing short of farcical.

Admittedly, a debate on New Zealand’s national flag was an odd thing to have occur ostensibly out of nowhere, so why?

Was it to do with an upcoming election; did the Right Honourable John Key wish to offer the country a parting legacy, perhaps? No that’s silly; the election is much too far away to be concerned with that.

What about the 2015 Rugby World Cup then, might it have had something to do with that? Perhaps if we won again Uncle John wanted the nation to be able to victoriously fly clear of the Commonwealth for some reason..?

Perhaps he just could no longer handle the fact that New Zealand’s flag has been so manifestly ripped off by Australia then..?

All interesting theories, but I don’t think so.

Look at the amount of interest – both positive and negative – this foolish debate has aroused. Look at how it has taken focus away from most other national issues. Think about how easily the New Zealand Government could now push through most any initiative, while remaining so thoroughly obscured by this flag debate; hah, think of all the assets that could be being sold from right under your nose.

…Do you even recall who it was who decided the flag-changing initiative was a worthwhile endeavour? Perhaps more importantly still, who the hell decided it should cost the nation’s taxpayer over $25 million? Gosh they’re a sly bunch, those politicians; using a comparatively innocuous debate as a cover for the real issues – who really knows what the hell’s going on anymore?

There is no question that New Zealand currently has more productive drainpipes down which to pour a reported $26 million, so what else is there – what is there that we’re not seeing?

I’m an avid right-wing supporter, but even I can smell bullshit when the wind blows.

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Flog D Bate

Photography by Wista Mooney