They reckon that every New Zealander has the right to own their own home; it’s the Kiwi dream, they say.

Some Kiwis choose to drop out of high school at or before age 15, promptly fall in with the wrong crowd, subsequently fall pregnant to any number of fathers over the coming years, then can only watch as their plummeting existence spirals still further from the bounds of a constructive adulthood.

Some Kiwis – the multitude of fathers comprising the aforementioned ‘wrong crowd’ included – simply aren’t equipped for the responsibility involved in home ownership.

Some Kiwis seem to aspire to nothing more than a Government funded existence, rationing out benefits to cover cigarettes, alcohol, and all that dog-roll for their couple of Rottweilers; who then turn their state house into a meth lab to cover costs but through a lack of knowledge end up incinerating the kitchen and are consequently evicted, only for the house to be later demolished on account of excess chemical contamination.

The Opposition wants to spend a few billion dollars on building affordable housing to be marketed exclusively to first home buyers…

I think the idea of a first home buyer’s first home being a brand new, purpose built abode is ridiculous; when one sees the way some of the more uneducated, unskilled, unmotivated and/or hitherto homeless folk treat their possessions, their lives and/or each other, I believe one ought to seriously re-evaluate the merit in practically gifting these people a home.

…Which means less that the Opposition is a benevolent institution and more that you, the taxpayer, will be expected to fund the lives of those who lack the will/desire/knowledge/ability/dedication or indeed the wherewithal to fund it themselves.

Some Kiwis knowingly paint themselves as undesirables from a young age, start running with a similar group of undesirables and before long, undesirables are breeding undesirability.

At least now if Labour end up in power, and if they stay true to their word, the undesirables will have nice new houses in Auckland to wreck.

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Lai Buzz Plan

Photography by Ana D Cira-Bull