Monthly Archives: September 2016

Tim Walker’s Sexist

The Miss Universe New Zealand beauty pageant of 2016 was won by Auckland music teacher Tania Dawson, and she is understandably elated.

What is less elating, as seems to occur with most every Miss Universe showcase across the world, is feminists’ hackneyed summary of beauty pageants…

Suffice to say the terms ‘Degrading’, ‘Objectifying’, ‘Shameful’ and yes, ‘Sexist’ were among the more colourful adjectives used.

…Here’s an interesting concept though: just take a look at the way depictions of men are used, displayed and, as is the parlance, objectified by media, or indeed, sometimes, by the very women who themselves claim to be the ‘human equality’ advocates…

In New Zealand we have our Jockey advertisements – Dan Carter’s ripped torso ought to suddenly spring to mind there. Internationally we have our dreamy male pop stars – Justin Bieber or One Direction if you’re a tween; alternatively you might recall Justin Timberlake. Then there is just about any Channing Tatum movie – I have in fact heard female reviews of the Magic Mike movie and I am damned sure that if I made those same kinds of comments about Mila Kunis I would be socially condemned. Or what about the fuss caused by the so called ‘Greasy Tongan’ at the Rio Olympics? Come on girls, just try and say he was not being objectified.

…Try to say any of the above men are not being objectified, but you can’t, because they are, but here’s a fun fact, as mature men, we don’t care; just the way we would expect that as mature women, you might not care when men do the same – because the only thing you bloody feminists are being by referring to beauty pageants as sexist, is overtly sexist yourselves, but towards men…

Of course it goes both ways, just like the way many Blacks who complain about racism are in fact monumentally racist themselves, but towards Whites so no one cares.

…This band of female zealots seem to somehow think that these grownup women – Tania Dawson is 23 years old – have been somehow coerced into putting on display their breathtaking natural wares; I can’t imagine there is a much better boost to lady’s self esteem than standing on a stage amid umpteen other Miss Universe candidates and knowing that you deserve to be there.

Realistically the kinds of women who complain about ‘sexism’ in beauty pageants, tend to be the ones who long ago lost the ability or indeed the desire to be desirable themselves.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Uhb Jock Tuffae

Photography by Desire Able



Tim Walker’s Voter

The New Zealand population contains a moderate number of brilliant Kiwi minds who believe that convincing every citizen to vote in the upcoming election is in the nation’s best interests.

These apparently brilliant minds must not have realised that New Zealand also contains a moderate number of drop-kicks who, along with having no idea to which party their vote should best be assigned, if they were to vote the aforementioned act would likely be initiated by some kind of ill-informed, ill-advised and wholly ill-conceived judgment…

Think back to the last election, where this very same group of ‘human rights’ or ‘human equality’ or ‘human something-humanity’ advocates were pushing this very same principle; think how at the time this could have been perceived as somewhat of a risky tack, given the recent advent of some fairly outlandish political parties such as the Internet Party or the Mana Party or the Internet Mana party, or something like that.

…Thus if particular people or even particular groups of people comprising New Zealand’s population for whatever reason do not wish to have their say, this is probably for the best…

All that turning otherwise non-voters into voters achieves, is that a whole lot of votes end up being counted from people who don’t really give a damn and who wouldn’t really give a damn even if you gave them a damn at no extra cost, but with opinions that have exactly the same amount of clout as those who are passionately engaged in politics and who if given the chance would steal a Goddamned damn to give.

…These people who consider themselves ‘non-voters’, generally, are either too stupid to know what they want, too uninformed to know any better or simply, they are dissidents with nothing helpful to offer anyway.

Either way New Zealand is surely better off if these people do abstain.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Noah Voot

Photography by Fawder Best

Tim Walker’s Fustigator XLVII


I am after yet not always there.

I am revelation yet unwelcome.

I am the result yet with interest.

I am an aftermath yet not good.

I am the happening yet reality.

I am contingent on yet not on off.

I am Sod’s law yet rarely am I dirt.

I am unwanted outcome yet I am.

I am in a row yet I am led by Con.

I am lamentably yet told you so.

I am a sequence yet led not by pro.








Last edition’s Fustigator: Certificate