There has been a recent increase in the prevalence of oxymoronic Kiwis who choose to practice their operations outside the bounds of established society/government/law.

In fact it’s far from an exclusively New Zealand-based issue; idiots around the world have been exploiting this grotesque human paradox for a long while…

Oxymoronic because, as much as they might consider themselves ‘outcasts’, ‘rebels’, ‘free-thinkers’ (or in other cases, ‘budding entrepreneurs who do what we want when we want without no control from no Po-lice no how’) who go to serious lengths to avoid the constriction of official influence, of course when things go bad for them they are only too keen to come running back to the comparative shelter and safety of our Government-controlled society.

…In many places in the US gangs believe they control the streets; walking proudly among their cohort, disrespecting authority, pervading intimidation, demanding respect – until they encounter a situation they cannot handle alone…

A few years’ ago in New Zealand ‘car surfing’ – where a car’s passenger positions themselves  on the roof as the car is being driven at speed (and of course captures the entire ordeal on camera for a surfer’s shot at fame, glory and instant popularity), often while yelling profanity or hurling disdain at authority – made it’s official entry on our streets. The punishment for such an act of recklessness is loss of licence, demerit points, possible impounding of vehicle and/or a fine of up to $3000 yet, “Why can’t we do it?” comes the indignant query from one such apprehended surfer, “’snot like we’re hurting anyone … Yeah, and we’re only gonna hurt ourselves, anyway..?”

…For example, in an eruption of gang warfare Police will likely become involved, if only to ensure minimal fatalities, and much as this might not be welcomed by those engaged in the violence, assuredly welcome will be the paramedic and ensuing hospital care that the injured gang members will receive, as well as the (also Government funded) rehabilitation process they might then require…

In the event that a car surfer does become injured, despite only moments earlier shirking the need for authority thereby effectively relinquishing their dependence on the Government, they will undoubtedly have no issue limping to their nearest ACC office to capitalise on New Zealand’s First World Nation goodwill.

…Or other groups who make their living through illicit practises, who do what they can to avoid paying Government-imposed income tax, thus realistically ought not to be entitled to any of societies benefits which are ultimately paid for by taxes, yet who, for example, despite spending a lifetime avoiding authority, when they step out of their Government-allocated State House to pick up their children from the bus stop, to later find that one such child has been improperly treated by a teacher – thus obviously requiring the Police (Government) to be called upon to come and inspect that school (Government) and to ensure the child is indeed receiving a proper education (Government) yet when the parents (Liabilities) push their complaints further – ensure that, through that public school’s own code of conduct and the proper channels of law enforcement, the teacher in question is promptly dismissed…

People riding bikes without helmets, going out in boats without lifejackets, riding in a car without a seatbelt, or texting while driving; it’s all the same thing – the Government tells you not to do it, of course you ignore the Government’s pleas, until you are injured doing the exact thing the Government told you not to do because you might get injured – now you run crying to the Government for support.

…Whatever the country the theme appears the same: idiots who make a point of avoiding authority figures, who think they can manage on their own – dismissing regulations, spurning society, flouting laws, condemning the Government and such – until they need help and still believe that they are entitled to receive it…

Everybody needs help at some stage and whether it’s Police, Education, Health or Injury related, it’s all ultimately the Government and they will always come to the rescue.

…Therefore, save yourself some embarrassment, stop being a dick, grow up, pull your head in and realise that the reason you’re being told to not do it, much as it is probably intended to prevent unnecessary Government expenditure through employing the gamut of government services to save your arse, is generally for your own benefit.

Work with them and they’ll work with you.

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Ida Yacht

Photography by Ian Jury