Is it me or has our Government introduced yet another massive double standard to New Zealand society?

Alcohol poses a greater financial burden to the New Zealand Government than any other recreational pastime yet, while something such as cigarettes are constantly vilified by almost everyone in our great nation, alcohol is still celebrated as a glorious tool, a wonderful form of catharsis at the end of a hard week/day…

Which it very much is; please, don’t misunderstand me, alcohol is great – it is among the world’s finest consumable manmade poisons.

…It just upsets me when our Government bitches and moans about the apparent ills of one thing while overlooking the obvious detriment of something else.

For example, I was recently, albeit inadvertently, accosted and potentially injured, by a, I assume, Christchurch local and his, so-called, marvellous innovation.

Indeed, the advent of Lime Scooters/e-scooters in New Zealand cities, while providing a marvellous transportation solution to the people, appears to have slipped under the typically rigorous, often counterproductive, yet senselessly stringent, New Zealand Government sanctioning body.

How is it that motorists are required by law to wear seatbelts and adhere to speed regulations, cyclists are required to wear helmets and are also bound by regulations, skateboarders are required to restrict their pastime to authorised places with more regulations; riding shotgun across a carpark in a shopping trolley borrowed from Pac’n’Sav is not even allowed anymore, yet these scooters, infernal contraptions they are, often pulling in excess of 40kph, have no regulations and may be used basically wherever they can travel? …

Incidentally, as one might recall, years back the New Zealand Government legalised Herbal Highs, jumping onboard the Kiwi hedonist’s desire to branch out and try something new (while also no doubt sensing another abundant taxation avenue), until a short time later, as predicted, after the aforementioned Kiwi delinquents have (as is human nature thus was always going to happen) found ways to abuse and misuse this bewildering liberty – in the process killing several participants – expectedly, Herbal Highs were outlawed; yet to this day variations of these insidious manufactured drugs are a scourge on Kiwi youth/people in general.

…Because of the supposed benefits to the ongoing issue of public transportation in New Zealand cities, our Government has allowed these electric toys to effectively go loose on our streets; since their introduction, however, because latently most Kiwis are irresponsible idiots, the cost to ACC has been astronomical and, with no required skill level or safety gear to ride these unwieldy scooters, that cost is not forecast to reduce anytime soon.

A lot like Uber and its grotesque lack of regulations, it seems if there is a way for our Government to utilise some technological advancement under the guise of benefitting the nation – while looking like the cool uncle in the meantime – however much they might be forced to implement their Parliamentary blindfolds regarding all things logic, however much they might have to ignore blatant contradictions, hazards and flaws unearthed by their plan; however outrageously impetuous their plan might be, it seems, they’ll embrace it.

For the time it takes, for the number of people it takes to pass a law – or in fact just to make a decision – in the New Zealand Government, it should be reasonable to expect that, at the end of said process, they will be certain to have made the right ones; that is, rather than having to later retract/amend that decision which, regarding e-scooters, they likely will.

Just saying.

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Scooter Hazzard

Photography by Cal Amity