Walker’s Origin of This Stuff

What stuff’s that then?

The stuff that makes me…

Me? In fairness, that is a fair bit of stuff. Do you really think we have time for it after all?

Alright then, stuff it. Besides, I rarely think of using thyme fore or aft.

That’s not the origin though, is it? It’s more of an insight into the current.

You’ve lost me. Last time I had insight into the currant I found it was nothing more than a dehydrated grape.

Yes, one should always keep up with fluids, or we’ll all turn into wizened fruit.

Come on, I accept that I’m eccentric, even a little odd, but to suggest I’m fruity..? Really?

Agreed. Exceptionally eccentric, rarely halting on anything but evens. Even with fruit.

Not fruit?

If it’s not fruit then what the hell is it? Eccentric, they reckon that is. Well off centre, they say it must be. Well, off centre, they concluded it must have been. Who said punctuation wasn’t important? “Let’s eat out, Grandma, tonight!”

Uh. Vulgarity.

A little on the nose, do we think?

Who knows?

Your nose.

Really, is it all mine?

It is incendiary.



Evaporating easily.






Stop. Is that the origin of me, do you think? Vulgarity, do you reckon?

Perhaps it is. Tell you what though, they’d have needed to have done more than just eat her out.


Is that that Latin version of the Bible from the fourth century?

No. That would be, Vulgate.

Close though. Fourth century. That was a fair while ago, too. Hard to believe they even had religion back around 300AD.

Religion in 300AD – are you hearing yourself right now?

Try not to. It’s just such a peculiar thing to do.

What, listening to yourself?

No, tacking two letters on the end of a numerical representation of time. Looks pretty silly too, you’d think someone would’ve said something by now.

You’d think.

Yeah, but what about even earlier, because time goes back to around 4000BC, how do you reckon they dealt with it then?

I don’t know, I guess they were more tolerant of Block Capital, Alphabetical Denotations back then.

Right. That was after dinosaurs but still before Christ..?

No no, I don’t think dinosaurs fit into the Christian belief system. That would suggest there were cavemen rather than God-fearing men.

You mean troglodytes rather than ignoramuses..?

You said it, not me.

What about the letters then – how would they have explained it to the puritans?

Shit I dunno, they probably placated irascible townsfolk by telling them it stood for, ‘Big Clock’, or something – denoting years rather than hours.

Yeah, or it could have been, ‘Backwards Clock’, because it went backwards back then eh – from 4000 to 0.

Yes, back then they counted backwards.

Funny how they knew where to start.

Yes, quite hilarious.

Then later it turned around and started counting up. Then the letters changed. How do you reckon they explained that?





Alas, Douche-bag.

What was BC again?

Brain Combustion.

Yeah, my brain hurts too.

I concur.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Seriously? You think that crap was edited?

Photography by Come on..?

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