Let’s have a cheer of gratitude for the nation’s son, Jared Turner. Such a lovely lad; handsome, clean cut, affable, well spoken…

In truth my sarcastic slander is not directed at Mr Turner at all, it’s hardly his fault the script he is paid to read is fraught with inaccurate condescension that makes him the target of so much ridicule; it’s hardly his fault that the researchers who provide the writers who in turn provide him with the information he has to read as though he knows what the hell he’s talking about when in reality he’s probably born and bred in the city of Auckland thus has limited understanding of all things conservation and is likely the last person who ought to be preaching “here’s a tip” regarding prudent energy usage.

The further truth is that while it is always desirable to be able to say you’re an energy skinflint, unless you are more of a skinflint than other skinflints, being an energy skinflint will have no benefit at all. If New Zealand makes a collective effort to lower its energy consumption, simply, the price of energy will increase. That’s the most basic law of supply and demand.

What, you think if NZ as a whole uses fewer units of electricity from one year to the next power companies are going to sit back and quietly absorb the shortfall? Not a bloody chance. They’ll pass their losses onto you, the consumer, in the form of higher electricity prices – the only area of benefit might be to the energy company’s multi-million dollar CEO, as his load is lightened somewhat.

Same theory goes for petrol. Why do you think that at a time where the price of a barrel of oil is the cheapest it’s been since December 2010, we’re still paying such exorbitant fuel prices? People have finally learned to operate their vehicles in a more fuel-conscious manner therefore, with less being bought, fuel companies cannot afford to lower their prices.

Those Energy Spot advertisements are essentially intended to fool you into helping those companies which have been trying to screw you over all your life. So by all means, live conservatively. Just don’t expect it to reap you any short term benefits.

This is a consumer world; it’s our reckless consuming that keeps the economy from crashing.

Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Ian Doug Nant

Photography by Jared Turner