Tim Walker’s Research

See? I told you so. Exercise is bad for ya.

Really? I disagree.

Nah, they said so – too much exercise is bad for ya.

Guess it must depend how you define ‘too much’, because I recently heard that 20 – 40 minutes of exercise each day was beneficial to prolonging life.

Nah, but I heard them say it so it has to be right – Strenuous exercise can lower life expectancy, so there.

So there, what?

So, I can sit on my arse all day and play X-Box and it’s not bad for me anymore.

But it was before..?

They always said it was.

Similar to the way ‘they’ always said that fat was to be avoided at all costs..?

Yeah, just like that, but then they said that it wasn’t bad for me anymore so now I can eat all the junk food I like and play X-Box all day and now it’s good for me, eh.

Eh … You do realise that big corporations perform whatever research is required to produce whatever findings they need, to push whatever product is fashionable at a given time?

What? Whaddaya mean by that?

For example, if Cadbury wants to prove that their chocolate is at all beneficial to peoples’ health, they simply pay a research company to study it from every possible angle until they come up with the desired results.

Yeah, I thought I heard chocolate was good for me.

Along with a glass and a half a day of red wine, right?

Yeah man, and if a glass and a half is good for me, think how good a bottle and a half must be.

Not quite. The key is moderation.


In moderation, wine is beneficial –

Yeah, so I drink heaps of it for heaps o’ benefits.

Nice one. In moderation, dark chocolate is beneficial –

Yeah, dark chocolate’s not sweet enough for me, I only eat white chocolate … that has to be some good though eh?

Unlikely. In moderation, exercise is beneficial.

Yeah, but they reckon exercise is bad.

Prolonged, strenuous exercise has been said to cause more harm than good, yes.

Right, so it’s like I said though, I can drink wine and eat chocolate and play X-Box and it’s good for me – talk about knowing your body.

Stunning. Idiots like you are the problem with media driven research.

Nah, it’s good, they tell me that I’m doing it right…

You hear what you want to hear; you hear half a story and make it sound how you want it to sound – then you have the audacity to complain when things go wrong.

Yeah but only because they tell us wrong.

No, because you comprehend wrong.

Well they shouldn’t tell us stuff that’s confusing and stuff like that.

They don’t so much confuse as they mislead consumers.

What? Why would they do that?

As I said, corporations hire researchers to conduct studies then manipulate their findings in order to produce results to support their product.

That doesn’t sound right…

No, it doesn’t, does it?



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Miss Leed Pablick

Photography by Doctor Fein Dings



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