Tim Walker’s Parking

In an effort to make the job of being a parking warden in New Zealand less abusive, the nation’s most despised profession plan to fit themselves out with cameras.

The hope is that these cameras will act as deterrents for parking cheats who, on returning to their illegally parked car to find it under the ominous shadow of a parking warden affixing a ticket to the windshield, think it’s appropriate to embark on tirades of unbridled fury…

In New Zealand we have time limits on our curb-side parks to ensure a continuous rotation, thereby ensuring that new vehicles always have an opportunity slot themselves into the grid; we also have handicap zones, usually positioned near a building’s entrance, which are restricted to the use solely of disabled people because they often have difficulty covering large distances; then there are ‘no park’ areas where, obviously, nobody is supposed to park.

…Nation’s most despised profession or not, it is a parking warden’s job to ensure that the aforementioned regulations are maintained – should the driver of a car occupy a park for longer than allowed because their job took longer than expected, should a fit and able person duck into a handicap park because they’re too lazy to walk a few hundred metres, or park somewhere that’s clearly supposed to be kept vacant, in my opinion, they deserve to suffer the consequences.

I have no time for dickheads who think they’re above the rest and can double-park or park on yellow lines because ‘they’re only going to be a minute’. I loathe shitheads who occupy handicap parks without the associated affliction. I have witnessed a car being ticketed for occupying a central Christchurch park for too long, just as the driver appeared. I saw and heard the way he verbally ripped into the portly female warden; I was pleased to see that she did not back down.

Many NZ males seem to possess a trait wherein the revelation of their own wrongdoing causes them to become inexplicably indignant, thus very angry. The fact that these men know they’re in the wrong is perhaps perceived as a weakness, making them fight even harder for redemption. Before long you have somebody arguing a point that although he doesn’t believe, he knows he must win at all costs.

I sincerely hope that these cameras do make the life of the parking warden less horrible because after all, these guys, like the rest of us, have a job to do.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Parker Warburton

Photography by A Buschi-Eve

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