Tim Walker’s Theory II

I heard a rumour recently that the next ice age is set to make its presence felt within the next fifteen years.

That doesn’t surprise me particularly and even if this rumour is bollocks, I believe there is merit to the theory. Going back a few years now, according to those people in the know, the entire globe was experiencing what we laymen refer to as, the ice age. As I am not one who knows a great deal about archaeology, fossil records or the like, I have no reason to disbelieve this postulation.

Therefore, and this is the point where I start offering my expertise which sadly is based less on facts and evidence, and more on passion and predictions, it is my concurring belief that another so called ice age is imminent. My theory, you see, is one of cycles; I have no idea when the next ice age will come because, well, I have no idea when the last one occurred.

Enhancing the credibility that another ice age is nigh is my other belief that, to put it very bluntly indeed, the 21st century is the one that will kill our planet. We simply have too many people, we are using too many resources, thus generating too many bi-products and too much waste so yes, I believe the 21st is the one that will do it. That doesn’t mean you should go off on some inane agreeable tangent and start speculating and ranting about when the sun’s going to burn out or some shit like that because honestly, what are the chances, I mean, where’s the evidence; where are the facts which say there is a finite supply of inflammable gases in our infinite universe meaning that in 80 years’ time, the sun will stop burning? Exactly; that’s stupidity. Stop talking.

No, I’m saying that within the next hundred years I forecast the earth will undergo a process of extreme cooling caused most probably by prolonged Northern and Southern Hemispheric winters more or less merging and revert to the icy sphere it was back when it was. Of course this impending ice age will be so inhospitable that all life, rather, most life will perish and whatever doesn’t, over the coming millions of years, will spawn the newest generation of whatever the hell.

Ultimately the earth will start again; regenerating life as we have come to know it, propagating similar races, religions and creeds to once again, a few thousand years after civilised life has been established, slowly devastate planet Earth’s ecosystem and begin yet another cycle.

My name is Tim Walker and that’s this has been this week’s instalment of ‘Theory’.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by I Sage

Photography by Ima Coole

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *