Tim Walker’s Theory XXII

You say goodbye as you stand to leave, you say goodbye as you depart the house, you say goodbye as you board your vehicle…

This week’s theory therefore, obviously, pertains to the idiot compulsion of many, to recklessly activate their car horns, sometimes all the way down the Goddamn street, with flagrant disregard towards homeowners’ desire for neighbourhood peace, after visiting then upon leaving somebody’s residence.

…Why must you say goodbye again as you drive away?

Car horns, technically, are warning devices. They are to be sounded to alert other motorists of danger. Legally, this is the only reason anyone should be sounding their horn.

I witnessed recently a motorist being pulled over by Police for excessive use of car horn, and rightly so, I recall thought/mumbling. If there is no imminent danger; if an idiot motorist is simply leaning on their horn out of frustration because another car pulled out within ten metres of them and snapped them out of their idiot lull, or some other make believe traffic incident, it is my belief they ought to be prosecuted…

There is nothing more unnerving in my opinion, than the sound of an unexpected car horn and while driving, particularly in the city, the one thing I most try to avoid, is unnerving situations. All a blaring horn ever achieves is to make every other driver in the vicinity look around guiltily as they wonder which driver is pissed off, if they are in the wrong and if so, is it even their fault?

…Recidivist road-rage tooters: calm your fiery temperaments and stop being dicks; your noise punishes everyone and in fact, probably least of all the person who has actually wronged you. As for recidivist goodbye tooters – such an act of mindlessness you perhaps aren’t even aware who you are – you also need to cut it out. There is no need for it. Just think. You’ve already said goodbye, probably multiple times; now just stop it.

Crap, my theory.

Alright: my theory is that those who use car horns as anything other than a warning of immediate danger are dicks.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Tui Mene Tuce

Photography by Near V Driver


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