I am the heaviest on my street yet contain not a scrap of fat.

I am content where I am yet am at the mercy of those around me.

I am the tallest on my street yet enhance rather than appreciate the view.

I am the holder of a name that sounds worthless yet I can be bought.

I am the oldest on my street yet neighbourhood kids play with me.

I am aged indeed yet others like me have had their lives life cut short.

I am not a rolling stone hence I do gather moss.

I am notoriously thirsty yet am sometimes forced to go without.

I am sometimes seen to be swaying yet am never drunk.

I am known for my coverings yet spend half the year naked.

I am pleased to accept help with broken limbs yet never say thank you.

I am the root of a joke regarding departure yet can never leave myself.

I am covered with what dogs do yet I usually smell clean.

WHAT AM I?

Last edition’s Fustigator: Bucket