Tim Walker’s Theory XII

This week’s theory pertains to cognitive function; specifically my cognitive function.

 I have found that when it comes to writing these theories, where initially I had thought I possessed a practically endless cache of intriguing beliefs, projections, suppositions and the like, it was at around week six that I discovered many of the aforementioned notions are either so perplexing they are simply ineffable or, and this one annoyed me, where I had thought I had multiple theories on various topics, on closer inspection many of them basically merged in to one another making their individual essence something of a mystery but worse still, when it came to the attempt at documenting this monstrous amalgamated projection, when dredging my otherwise insipid mind for insight, all I discovered were a haphazard assortment of 1s and 0s, so I don’t know…

This led me to perform some, shall we say, impromptu theorising. In other words, come Wednesday morning, I found myself sitting before a piece of technology that I don’t believe I will ever entirely understand, and wracking (or racking, depending where you’re from) my brain for a future concept or indeed an existing design with a foundation of which, ultimately, I perceive differently than the masses.

…Computer speak notwithstanding when I peered beyond what I had expected to be pre-engineered theories but turned out to be one big mess of ill-meaning controversy, in what I am just now labelling my ‘ad-lib hypothesise’ I found it wasn’t a terribly forceful push to develop a range of new and exciting theories.

The highly organised and invariably well-meaning among you will no doubt be thinking: why doesn’t he (I) simply prepare these intriguing suppositions of quirk in advance (hence prepare), therefore come time for Wednesday’s Theory instalment, leaving him (me) with a theory or two on hand to slam in the face of ye old Internet?

Thank you, the well-meaning among you, for that unequivocally uninspired and downright banal query. Do you recall me recall me mentioning that it was ‘around week six that I (me) discovered … insipid mind … no theories left…’? Yeah, now cast your eye to the top of the page. For those of you well-meaning-wonders who still have difficulty with Roman numerals, ‘XII’ means twelve. (Also, ‘around week six’ was actually exactly week six.) That’s six weeks I have struggled with impromptu theorising and ad-lib hypothesise which in fact turns out to have been a rather fortuitous battle as it has unknowingly equipped me for this particular Theory instalment.

All week, in the past, in between my other literal endeavours of course, my mind’s eye continuously flicks into the portion of my brain that entertains the doubt thus is responsible for conjuring the alternate explanations to many of the nation/world’s more questionable areas.

All week, generally, I come up with nothing of substance.

As I drive home from jiu-jitsu class on Tuesday night therefore, tomorrow’s Theory is on my mind: what disparity do I maintain about something that is a different kind of disparity to what the rest of the nation thinks, accepts or agrees upon, and what would be the most effective way to document that? (And they reckon cell phones are distracting.)

I go to bed that night thinking that very question and seldom come up with much. It’s not until shortly after 7 a.m. while seated before that humming contraption of mystery with a steaming bowl of porridge to my left, green tea steeping to my right and with 9 a.m. looming in the distance that the challenge, the pressure of accomplishing my impending feat, seems to always squeeze out something.

This week’s Theory therefore, relates to the way brainpower – maybe just mine but I think as a general rule – kicks up a notch when the heat comes on. Call it adrenalin, call it anxiety, hell, you can call it fear of failure if you like.

Whatever it is it serves me alright.



Article by Tim Walker

Edited by Fiar E Voce

Photography by Mia Theory








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